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Allow me to paint a picture for you and then explain why I think that picture is absolutely ridiculous. For the sake of this example let’s say they see each other 3-4 times and week, sleep together 2-3 of the 3-4 and talk every other day. At the three month mark one of the two parties is itching for some definition. It’s been three months of gradual dating leading to the obvious question of, where is this gradual dating going. A guy and a girl meet, determine that they enjoy each other and begin “dating.” I say “dating” instead of dating because one or both parties might not consider it dating. He/she wants to know what to call this thing they’re doing. Let’s take things a little slower and see how that helps. My thing is this: how can you take things slower than they were currently being taken? I don’t want to do that again, so that’s why my new guy and I have decided to give each other space and mitigate our impulses for about three or four days, at which point we’ll do whatever we want with reckless abandon, no matter the consequences.

Harsh as this is going to sound – if someone has decided after three months of dating that less of what you’ve got going on is better, that’s not a good sign. Yes, there are people who fear the progression of relationships, no matter how slow and reasonable that progression may be.

Taking it slow might mean that he needs to figure out things for himself. It’s like when you went and hang-out with each other, he saw you looking at those bunch of flowers you both happened to pass by and then he suddenly realise that on his past relationships, he did not even give even a bud to his past relationship partner.

One month in, I asked him what he thought about being exclusive.

Taking things slow is also beneficial because you will discover a lot of things about him and vice versa. I’m not sure if I’m making sense but really, instances like that could happen.

However, you also have to bear in mind that this might be a cause to make or break the deal. By giving time to get to know you and taking things slow, he might come across with some important things that he didn’t realise needs figuring out in his life.




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