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After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?

" She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight! Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.

(Bill Cosby)I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. (Rita Rudner)Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards. After about an hour of trying to make it go, she walked over to the nearby marina. A thorough topside check revealed everything was in perfect working order.

No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't get her brand new 22-ft Bayliner to perform.

So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath the boat.

He slashed the air, but the fruit fly continued to fly.After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes.She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. 10 SIMPLE RULES FOR DATING MY DAUGHTER Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.Just like alcohol can pack a lot of punch (or is it the other way around?The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it. 'My wife and I are completely equal partners', is talking about either a law firm or a hand of bridge. (Henny Youngman)My wife and I were happy for twenty years. (Rodney Dangerfield) A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. It wouldn't plane at high speed at all, and it was very sluggish in almost every manoeuvre, no matter how much power she applied.




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Days into his new job as Prime Minister as Britain was getting pounded and on the verge of losing to Germany, Churchill was under pressure to make a deal with Hitler that would have established Britain as a puppet state of the Third Reich.


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He didn’t agree with our father’s faith, like worshipping idols and other Catholic practices. Sometimes he seemed to be doing it on purpose just to prove to my father that those practices were wrong. Eli Soriano’s broadcast before because of my brother, but I had very little interest with that kind of program.


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- Bolt, having achieved his goal at what was his last ever Olympics, celebrates his 30th birthday, hitting the nightclub with friends.


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Some women tell me they’d feel too insecure about their bodies to sleep with someone young, but when you operate on the criterion I do — that they have to be nice — you meet younger men who appreciate everything about older women.


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Dating is awkward for most people, but according to Evan Mead, dating with Asperger's adds a whole different level of difficulty.


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